Community is a great goal, but how do you do it? Many people have asked me this question. In Christian circles we talk a lot about the importance of community, but for most of us it is more of an elusive ideal than a reality. What is community? How do we build and maintain it?
For my wife Barb and me there are two guiding principles: 1) Love people, and 2) Cultivate open and honest communication. In part II of this series on the core values that have guided my life and ministry, I will explore these critical aspects of community building as well as practical steps for navigating conflict, creating longevity in our organizations, and sowing into future leaders. In many ways, the people we invest in and the cultures we create for our organizations become the fruit of our earthly lives as we seek to build the kingdom of God.
I will begin by discussing the importance of approaching conflict as a vehicle for growth. To really build lasting community and cultivate longevity in our organizations we must embrace conflict with the heart of Christ.
Core Value 5: Embrace Conflict for Growth
Throughout the gospels we see that Jesus and His group of 12 had different personalities, preferences and agendas that led to disagreements, misunderstanding and heated arguments—just like in our churches and society today. However—unlike many leaders today—Jesus did not fear conflict. He knew that unity among his disciples was only going to get harder after he went back to be with the Father. Therefore, he spent time teaching his followers how to embrace conflict and use it as a means of growth in the kingdom.
Identifying Types of Conflict
Over the years it was my job to help teams in turmoil. As I would get to know the members of the group and the dynamics dividing them, the easiest diagnosis was to identify a character problem within a particular member of the team. It was easy, because it was probably true. We all have character issues, and sometimes one person’s sin really is the root of the conflict.
However, there was usually more to the story. Other common causes of conflict such as lack of direction, lack of clear responsibilities, and lack of understanding of one another’s gifts could be at play. More often than not, though, there was a difference in values among members of the team.
Navigating Values Conflicts
Several years ago I was serving on a team that had run a small surplus in the budget for the first time in years. One team member wanted to create a contingency fund for unexpected expenses that would arise from time to time. Another team member was equally vocal about investing the money back into field ministries.
The argument became so intense that we had to stop the meeting in order to let the two team members go and resolve it. Each was focused on what he perceived to be a character issue in the other. What they could not see were their differences in values—one esteemed frugality and the other investment.
Interestingly, in a meeting situation, the go-to approach to resolve a values conflict is to try to convince the opposing person, “My value is right and yours is wrong.” However, our values are deeply-held. They have developed over many years and reveal what we find worth in. What is the chance in a 15-minute conversation that someone is going to dismantle one of our values? Zero.
When navigating values conflicts, the answer is compromise. As leaders in these situations—whether we are helping to resolve a conflict or in the midst of one ourselves—we must put on humility, listen, and understand that there are reasons why people have different values. In the most difficult situations, when working our way to a solution seems impossible, we have to believe God to do the impossible and bring good.
Core Value 6: Love People
The very first talk show in the 1960s was the Art Linkletter Show. At the end of every program, Art had a segment called “Kids Say the Darndest Things.” I’ll never forget an episode when he asked, “Does your daddy love you?” One little boy answered “Yes!” so enthusiastically that it caught Art’s attention and had the audience laughing.
“You seem so sure,” Art said to him. “How do you know your daddy loves you?”
“Because when he reads me bedtime stories, he doesn't skip any of the pages, you see?” replied the little boy. This child knew he was loved by the way his dad spent time with him. Adults understand love the same way. If we really want to build community, there's no escaping the investment of our time.
The question for many overtaxed leaders then becomes, Who? Who are we supposed to invest time in? Who are we supposed to love? Jesus answered with the Parable of the Good Samaritan, illustrating that the answer is whoever is in our path that day. For many Christian leaders, this means first our spouses, then our children, and then the team God has put around us.
One of the greatest mistakes Christian leaders can make is to run past our teams. It is never wrong to make time to love your team on the way to fulfilling your mission. I would not even say take time, because we must make it. From a practical standpoint, this does not necessarily mean spending focused time together on ministry activity. Rather, we do things together, live life together and get to know one another.
We build community by loving the people in our path the way God intends for us to love them. Of faith, hope and love, the greatest is love, without which we could come up to zero at the judgment seat of Christ.
Core Value 7: Cultivate Open and Honest Communication
On the night Jesus was betrayed, he was taken before his accusers, and they were charging Him with all kinds of things. Interestingly, His only response to them was, “I have spoken openly for all the world to hear. So why do you ask me these things? Ask those who heard me.”
In the world, the given standard of communication is anonymity and self-protection. However, this was not the way of Christ. Throughout His ministry, there were no secret meetings, no dark room conversations and nothing hidden. He spoke openly and honestly and lived plainly for all to see. It is through this high standard of communication that we will build trust in our families and organizations and sow into community that lasts.
Do we, when we have an issue with one another, go to the person directly? Or, do we provide feedback in a roundabout, gossipy kind of way? Throughout the years, I did not use anonymous evaluations, because when we have something to say, we should own it. If we are afraid to speak to one another, there is an underlying issue that needs to be addressed—again—with courage, openness and honesty.
In addition to creating opportunities for our team members to give direct feedback to one another, we must really listen to those around us and welcome the feedback we need to hear. Often, the higher you go in an organizational chart, the more the senior leadership is starved for truth. The most devastating divisions and hardest falls occur when leaders become 1) isolated from the feedback they need to receive, or 2) fail to respond to the feedback they do receive. We must combat this tendency. Getting feedback is hard on the ego, but if we don’t, we will cease to grow.
At CRU, we architected open and honest communication into the culture of our teams in the mid-Atlantic region, and it transformed the way we operated. We're called to speak truth to one another in love. This takes practice. It's an effort. And I can’t emphasize enough how important it is.
Core Value 8: Embrace Innovation and Creativity
In the 1860s Ferdinand de Lesseps was the world’s foremost engineer. He designed the Suez Canal, which joined the Mediterranean and Red seas and transformed world commerce. Ten years after its completion in 1869, a group of companies sought to build a canal through Central America connecting the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans with de Lesseps at the helm.
However, this time the project failed. The construction teams were unprepared for the rocky, mountainous terrain, outbreaks of malaria, and host of other unforeseen challenges.
It was not until 1914 that the Panama Canal was finally completed by a group of Americans who took an innovative approach. They learned how to drain the swamps to get rid of mosquitos; they created the steam shovel to plow through rock; they found a way to implement the lock system through mountains. Hundreds of patented projects—including Walter Reed’s discovery of the cure for malaria—resulted from the creativity and innovation in the construction of the Panama Canal.
All too often in Christian ministry, we get stuck in the tried-and-true ways of doing things. Especially in the world we live in today, there will always be new and innovative strategies to share the Gospel. This is especially true right now for the pastors and ministry leaders who are creatively figuring out ways to turn the devastating Covid-19 pandemic into a plus for the kingdom.
As we seek to complete the Great Commission, we will be called to tackle challenges that no one has ever encountered. Innovation and creativity will enable our ministries to adapt, grow, and reach more people with the Good News of Jesus Christ.
Core Value 9: Pass It On
As I discussed in the previous article, leadership development is absolutely critical. Many pastors and ministry leaders believe they do not have time to invest in young leaders, but we must correct our thinking. Building into the future of the kingdom is the most important ministry activity we will ever do.
I was privileged to have some incredible leaders to emulate including Dr. Bill Bright, the founder of CRU, and Dr. Howard Hendricks, a Dallas Theological Seminary professor and visionary for FamilyLife. Dr. Hendricks once said, “You can’t lead from the rear,” meaning that we must be out in front galvanizing young leaders. We do this by being with them, showing them we believe in them, and working hard to inspire them.
Leaders, if I can leave you with one thing it is this: As we nurture our teams, develop young people, and build community, we must decide whether we will try to command and control people or inspire and align each one to Jesus Christ. I cannot emphasize enough that the latter is the better way. It may be difficult to change course, but there is much greater impact to be had when we turn our ministry loose and encourage the people in our path to pursue the kingdom of God.